I love breastfeeding. Sometimes it hurts like heck, but I love it.
Why?
Because it's so good for my babies. My body has taken all kinds of abuse for the sake of my children. Giving birth, nursing and all that sure takes it's toll---I have stretch marks on my stretch marks!
My current breastfeeding status is nursing full time for Bretac my 7 week old newborn and pumping about 3-4 times a day for my 2 year old with special needs. (an attempt to boost his immune system)
how did I get here? It wasn't easy that's for sure. Breastfeeding dosen't really come naturally. It's something every new mom has to learn.
When Dyllan was born I was determined, yet inexperienced. I was also so sure it would be a "natural" thing, as easy as tying my shoes...but just like tying your shoes it's something I had to learn.
Dyllan had a poor latch and wasn't particularly interested in eating in his first few days. I freaked out. I gave him a bottle thinking he wasn't getting enough, and I had no idea that was the biggest mistake. long story short he ended up bottle fed while i pumped the milk out every 2 hours around the clock.
I was devastated. I felt terribly guilty that I couldn't make my baby nurse. I thought I had ruined his life and that he'd never bond with me....I was so very insecure about it too. pure guilt kept me pumping every day although I hated doing it. I kept on and kept on trying to get him to nurse. I had so much milk stored in the freezer he had milk thru about half my pregnancy.
When Dyllan was about 8 months old I got pregnant again. I slowly stopped pumping but never really gave up hope that I could nurse Dyllan.
Robert was born in October of that year (05) and this time I refused to even have bottles near him. Robert was born 4 weeks early and was not a good nurser at all. it took a few months before we really got it going well but we kept at it. I never gave him a bottle instead i fed him with a little cup when I felt like he wasn't getting enough. in the mornings my boobs were like the size of basketballs (ok probably not that big...) and I had to pump before he could latch on. I would get about 36 ounces out in the morning (yes i'm serious!) my freezer was stock full. I started giving it to Dyllan but he didn't want it in the bottle...instead he thought what baby brother was doing looked pretty good and he finally started nursing.
I know it seems weird, but I let him. so now, had a new baby and a 15 month old nursing together. They bonded so well they wanted to nurse together all the time. I loved it. Here i was snuggling both my babies and feeding them at the same time. I also lost alot of weight at that time i was down to 118 lbs. I looked great!
when Robby was around 9 months old we moved, and all the breastmilk i had stored up had to go somewhere...but it was mostly all to old to donate so i took all these bottles (36 oz bottles) and took the caps off, placing them in the bathtub to thaw. I laid them on their sides so it would drain out...but the milk was so thick it clogged my tub!! here i had a bathtub nearly full of breastmilk.
I'm probably the only person in the world that can say I filled a bathtub with my own breastmilk.
anyway, I was so sad seeing all that milk go to waist I determined to find a place to donate it the next time I had that much milk....
when I got pregnant with Ronan I made Dyllan stop nursing. he was just over 2 years old at that point. I nursed Robby all thru pregnancy, hoping to nurse them together when the baby was born.
Ronan was a better nurser, or maybe I was just getting better at it. I nursed Robby for the first 2 months after Ronan was born. Robby had become a bitter, and he would clamp down on me and turn his head quickly....talk about pain! finally I had enough. my poor boobs hurt like crazy and so Robby was weaned.
I now had a 3 year old, an almost 2 year old and a nursing baby. with in 7 months I was pregnant again. but before that, I had stored up some milk in the freezer which came in handy when my sister in law had puppies. the mother-dog abandoned the puppies so we raised them on my extra milk mixed with puppy formula. I fed a litter of puppies my breastmilk. LOL.
I nursed thru pregnancy again, but I almost stopped. about 3 months in I lost my milk for a few weeks. I tried to wean Ronan but he just wouldn't. he got most of his nutrition from food and drinking from a bottle but he wanted to nurse for comfort, so I let him. My milk came back in after a few weeks and Ronan was a happy camper.
When Teal'c was born he could not nurse. medical reasons. we tried but in the end he was tube fed and i pumped for him. I was still nursing Ronan at the time. My freezer got so full of milk I had to get rid of some of it. I found a milk bank that took alot of it off my hands and gave me a free breastpump. (the way i use them they just don't hold out...i've gone thru 5 of them in the past 6 years.)
when Teal'c was about 9 months old i finally weaned Ronan. The stress of Teal'c's illnesses kept making it harder and harder to keep my milk so I gave up on that. I had enough milk in storage that he got milk untill he was 11 months.
I got pregnant in Febuaury that year (2010) and I am now nursing my 7 week old. He's the best nurser i've ever had. I still wake up with basketballs on my chest although i don't get nearly as much milk out in the morning as i used to. now it's about 8-16 ounces instead of 24-36. my boobs hurt like all the time beings i'm constantly nursing the baby and pumping 3-4 times a day.
teal'c has a really bad immune system so i'm hoping that giving him breastmilk will help him, so that's why all the pumping. I'm hoping to store a bunch in the freezer to provide for him for a long time. (well it only lasts about 6 months in the freezer, but that's still helpfull...)
so there ya have it. that's my story.
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