My kids are so funny. they make me laugh every day. this post is a collection of things i've posted on facebook over the past few years: (many of these posts are several years old but i thought these are hilarious they are so worth sharing again. )
1. Robby shoved sour cream in the van seat, with a spoon.
2. The kids like to play a game called melting. They kiss my nose and I yell “I’m melting!” and pretend to melt until the kids say “unmelt” Ronan has started doing it too, he will kiss my nose then say “melting” (sounds like ammmtammm!” and copies me “melting”
3. Ronan swallowed a nickel, when I told the kids we had to go to the doctor Dyllan said , “oh no mommy he swallowed your NIPPLE, are you ok?” then he wanted to look and see my “missing nipple” I showed him a nickel to clear his confusion (we took him to the doc, and Brooke had prayed that the coin would disappear, when they did the xray it was nowhere to be found! Praise God!)
4. The kids have a song that says “oh Lord how would I make it without you” Robert said “mom they singing naked!” so he ran around singing “oh Lord, I’m so naked”
5. We were at the dilly dally shop and Robby saw a fish, he screamed “mom, I found Nemo!”
6.
7. Dyllan offers kisses for my owies
8. During a video conference with amber Dyllan said “mom why doesn’t she just come out of that puter?”
9. Dyllan had gas, he tooted in the other room and said "mom did you smell all that gas? Tell daddy it was me!"
10. The kids want to help name the new baby, they want to name him or her Teyla Kitty freezer, poop on a stick, table, bucket….
11. Dyllan said “mom that mean kitty bit me!” well, why did she do that I asked…”I was pulling hair out of her tail “
12. Dyllan peed on the kitty today
13. I told the kids what they eat turns into poop, so when dyll goes potty he will tell me “mom I had cheese poop, or carrot poop…(whatever he just ate)”
14. Robby likes to play in his closet, its his “special place” if he disappears I can usually find him there
15. Robby tried to share his apple with the baby, he shoved it into my tummy and said “eat baby!”
16. Robby pees on his little potty and then proudly says “your welcome mommy!”
17. Robby said he needed a diaper on to poop so i put it on his head, told him to close his eyes a pretend it was on his butt, he tried but it didn’t work
18. Robby gets mad at his reflection in the mirror, he says “mom that kid won’t get out my way!” he tried punching it the other day, cause he wanted to kiss the mommy in the mirror, and the other Robby wouldn’t move.
19. we were talking last night he told me he wants to drive a race car when he grows up, daddy was saying how dangerous it was and Dyllan took my hand, looking very seriously into my eyes and said “mommy i promise i will not crash and die, i will keep that promise, you can trust me. I’m 'sponsible."
20. yesterday, robby says to me, "when i get bigger you will be the little kid" i said no, ill be an old grandma, he laughed so hard "that is so silly mom!" he says "you gonna turn old!"
21. today I found the kid’s shooes in my fridge
22. robby says "mom i pooped on that pokey board" thankfully he still had his diaper on and he didn't actually poo he just tooted
23. the thing i got for dyll for his birthday came in a box that was like three times bigger than it needed to be, dyll was like whoa!!! but i hid the present and let him play with all the paper in the box, now he thinks i got him paper for his birthday the funny thing is hes happy about it
24. I tried to spit wash Dyllan’s cheek and he told me “mom your spit only works on Tuesdays.”
25. Dyllan lifted Ronan’s hood from his sweatshirt and said, “mom, is this where the batteries go?” I asked him if he ran off batteries, “no mom, only Ronan and Robert do, not me that’s silly. You need to plug him in at night?”
26. Robby has taken to changing his own diaper, he won’t potty in the potty chair but if I don’t change him quickly enough he will take off his diaper and put on a clean pull up.
27. Ronan was playing peek-a-boo, and he was getting mad cause he couldn't figure out how to hide his eyes, he kept putting his hands on his ears or his cheeks, then he gave up, grabbed my hands and put them over his eyes
28. i was nursing Ronan, and when he pulled off he smacked his lips closed his eyes and said "oh yea!" it was so funny
29. earlier, we were watching rattiue, (the movie Robby just ruined) and when they say “stop that soup" Ronan laughed really hard, so i kept saying to him...he kept laughing until all of a sudden he said "done" and then it wasn't funny anymore... he didn’t laugh at it at all after that
30. Dyllan says "mom that thing says its time o'clock. time to go outside."
31. I is putting pip on my armpips says Robby
32. Dyllan came home from spending the night at grandma Jan’s and Robby and Ronan missed him so much they hugged him until Dyllan got mad and said “no more hugs!”
33. Robby says " I wanna eat buggers and French fries." so I said "with snot?" he starts laughing "no mom not buggers out my nose, buggers from the French fry store"
34. Robert came out covered head to toe in pink lipstick, and entire tube. It’s in his hair, all over his face and tummy, even his legs. Even after scrubbing him the pink remains. He says “mommy I’m so pretty your makeup!” I was laughing so hard I couldn’t even scold him. He cried though cause for a few seconds I kept a stern face, then rob and I both busted up laughing.
35. Ronan had his diaper off for only a few seconds, and of course he pooped…I thought I cleaned it all up but I missed some. A few seconds later, I saw him, his face and hands COVERED in his own poop, and it was in his mouth. EWW! When I took it away he got mad, and the more I cleaned the sicker I felt. I had to run and puke, which gave him opportunity to get more poop from his little stash and eat it again! Oh man that was so gross!
36. the kids are pretending to be daddy....dyll lays on my bed, pretends to be asleep. then he pretends his alarm goes off and he hits it, saying "wake me up at 29 (or some other random number) and pretends to fall asleep again. he does this several times then looks at the clock and screams 'I’m going to be late, I gotta go to work!" and rushes thru the house ...then he does it over again. can't tell what happens here every morning can ya
37. mom mom there’s a bug! Robby screams, "kill it" so i stepped on it. then he says "mom it won't crawl on my finger...make it crawl on my finger!" honey, its dead it can't crawl anymore. so he put it on his finger and said look mom that dead bug is my friend!
38. Dyllan keeps asking me if i can pop out charaters from Tv.
he also told me yesterday "mom when i grow up, promise me you won't be old. I want you to babysit my kids, so i can go to duluth by myself with my mommy (my wife he means) and, you can teach my kids to behave, if they don't listen and take their naps you can spank their butts."
i asked "well you will be their daddy, why don't you teach them to behave?"
"because your better at it. you already know how to."
lol i laughed alot. then i asked "well you guys come to duluth with us, why don't you take your kids with you?"
"because i don't want bad guys to get them. you will keep them safe." (aww!)
he's so silly. its funny the things kids think of.
little robby, when disapointed that he won't be able to use breastpumps when he grows up asked me if he could buy one for his wife. lol.
he also told me yesterday "mom when i grow up, promise me you won't be old. I want you to babysit my kids, so i can go to duluth by myself with my mommy (my wife he means) and, you can teach my kids to behave, if they don't listen and take their naps you can spank their butts."
i asked "well you will be their daddy, why don't you teach them to behave?"
"because your better at it. you already know how to."
lol i laughed alot. then i asked "well you guys come to duluth with us, why don't you take your kids with you?"
"because i don't want bad guys to get them. you will keep them safe." (aww!)
he's so silly. its funny the things kids think of.
little robby, when disapointed that he won't be able to use breastpumps when he grows up asked me if he could buy one for his wife. lol.
39. ronan woke crying, after a few attempts at settling him i put him back in his crib...he woke dyllan and first dyll yelled "stop it ronan!" then he switched tactics, and said "it's ok Ronan, Dyllan is here" that was just cute.
40. Dyllan and Robby were looking at a toy catalog, Robby says "mom i want this and this and this..!" and Dyllan puts his hands on his hips and says "Robby, that is called to expensive"
2. Robby's pants were falling down and when I told him to pull them up he said "mom, its my plummer's butt"
3. robby came out of his room with his pants in that punk style where his undies are sticking way up, and a hat on turn backwards he looked so cute. when I asked him what he was wearing and he said "i'm a cool dude"
4. When Robby asks questions about himself as a baby he starts out by saying "Mom, when i was baby teal'c ...."
5. Dyllan begs me to let him do the dishes!
6. the kids and i built forts in their rooms, and the kids played "deer hunting season" pretending to be waiting for deer Robby even said "oh if you don't shoot the deer it will eat you!"
2. Robby's pants were falling down and when I told him to pull them up he said "mom, its my plummer's butt"
3. robby came out of his room with his pants in that punk style where his undies are sticking way up, and a hat on turn backwards he looked so cute. when I asked him what he was wearing and he said "i'm a cool dude"
4. When Robby asks questions about himself as a baby he starts out by saying "Mom, when i was baby teal'c ...."
5. Dyllan begs me to let him do the dishes!
6. the kids and i built forts in their rooms, and the kids played "deer hunting season" pretending to be waiting for deer Robby even said "oh if you don't shoot the deer it will eat you!"
41. Did i tell you the kids like to play "borg" (star trek) its pretty funny they ask me to put make up on them so the look like a borg and then they run around saying "you will be assimilated I am borg!" its pretty funny. lastnight they played starship captin. lol i'm turning my kids into scifi dorks.
my dad's girlfriend got a kick out of it when Dyllan calld her and said "I am the borg you will be assimilated...resistance is futile!"
my dad's girlfriend got a kick out of it when Dyllan calld her and said "I am the borg you will be assimilated...resistance is futile!"
42. the kids were playing school today, and Dyllan was teaching "bible verses" he started out saying "2nd handatizer (hand-sanitizer) says ...." LOL
oh my goodness, kids can say things so very bluntly! my mom has developed cataracts because of her diabetes, witch all stems from her being very overweight. Rob and I were talking about it the other day not realizing Dyllan had picked it up...then he was on the phone to my mom today and he said:
"Grandma Donna, your going blind because you have to much fat!"
She laughed about it, thinking it was hysterical, but I was incredibly embarrassed.
oh my goodness, kids can say things so very bluntly! my mom has developed cataracts because of her diabetes, witch all stems from her being very overweight. Rob and I were talking about it the other day not realizing Dyllan had picked it up...then he was on the phone to my mom today and he said:
"Grandma Donna, your going blind because you have to much fat!"
She laughed about it, thinking it was hysterical, but I was incredibly embarrassed.
43. Yesterday Ronan cut his finger, right through the nail! it bled like crazy...then some dripped on little robby's foot and robby being afraid of blood freaked out! he ran in circles in the living room screaming that all his blood was coming out, finally daddy cleaned his foot and robby calmed down. poor kid, but it was kind of funny...not to him though
44. the lady to do my blood test for the milk bank came over today, can't remember rher name but she aksed about you aparently you taught her grand kids at the academy. anways when she was taking my blood dyllan's eyes got huge and he said "mom!! she's taking al lyour blood, you told me that if you didn't have blood you would die!! MOM STOP HER!!" it was so cute. i got him calmed down though, telling him people have lots of blood she's only taking a little bit
45. so i was trying to get ronan to say "daddy" but instead he kept telling me "say camera" "say door" "say puppy" 'Say papa" lol
46. we were practicing our bible verse and I’d say part and leave a blank for the kids to fill in :
their answers were as follows: Love the Lord your……(Jesus) with all your heart all your soul all your ….(head) and all your….(muscles) this is the first and greatest…(eternal life)
For God so loved the …(world) that he gave his only….(son) and whoever believes in ..(Jesus) shall not…(perish) but have…(lots of sons) (Kids!) LOL
47 the kids want to grow up to have a harry chest like daddy, be tall like daddy, bigger than the sky like God and have boobies that make milk like mommy LOL
48
47. if something has a D on it dyllan assumes it must be his….even if that D is not his name.
48. when Ronan is upset he yells “you meanie!”
49. we got to try some fresh-from-the-cow milk the other day, Jessica bought a milk cow recently.
Rob was with the kids so I heard the story from him
Rob was with the kids so I heard the story from him
;
Dyllan and Robert were with Rob and Jessica was milking the cow, Robby thought it was pretty cool but Dyllan was horrified. He kept staring at it with a expression of discust on his face, and refused to try the milk.Rob said "you know milk comes from cows...Mommy told you that." Dyllan still flat out refused. when Rob asked him why he said "that's a BOY cow!"
Rob laughed, "no that's a girl"
Dyll puts his hands on his hips and sets his face, "Dad, just look at all those boy pee-pees, and you tell me that's not a boy?!" LOL he thought the utters were penises.
When Rob told me the story, Dyllan insisted that the cow was a boy,
, he figured that girl cows had boobies like people (because mommy makes milk too)
Dyllan and Robert were with Rob and Jessica was milking the cow, Robby thought it was pretty cool but Dyllan was horrified. He kept staring at it with a expression of discust on his face, and refused to try the milk.Rob said "you know milk comes from cows...Mommy told you that." Dyllan still flat out refused. when Rob asked him why he said "that's a BOY cow!"
Rob laughed, "no that's a girl"
Dyll puts his hands on his hips and sets his face, "Dad, just look at all those boy pee-pees, and you tell me that's not a boy?!" LOL he thought the utters were penises.
When Rob told me the story, Dyllan insisted that the cow was a boy,
, he figured that girl cows had boobies like people (because mommy makes milk too)
Ronan thinks Taco is the funniest word in the world. he walks around all day saying "taco taco" and laughing like crazy...he's been doing it for a few weeks now. LOL.
lastnight Dyllan said "i can't wait to meet my kids mom" lol i said "i can't wait to meet them either"
Robby had a belly ache lastnight he gets this look of worry on his face and said "mom my belly hurts cause Jesus is trying really hard to come out of my tummy! He's pushing on me to hard!" LOL I tried to explain that Jesus is in his heart not his belly but he thinks that just like Teal'c popped out of my belly Jesus will pop out of his....how to I explain that one? lol.
50. Ronan keeps waking up yelling “I need a good idea” so I say “you do?”
“yea…” I hand him an “idea” and he lays down to sleep.
“yea…” I hand him an “idea” and he lays down to sleep.
yup that's Ronan. he's getting so big. you should hear him introduce himself "hi, my name is Ronan. call me ronieman. that's D-Y-L-L-A-N Ronieman. yup ronieman Lillis.
oh yea and Robert spells his name R-D-Y-L-L-A-N
the kids tell me “mom you’re the prettiest princess ever”
Robby plans to have paintball guns at his wedding and shoot all his guests with paintballs
Dyllan is in love with a girl named Natalie. He has asked her father permition to marry her and asked her too. This is what he said “Mr. Swanson, I love your daughter very much and I want to marry her and build her a pink castle with an upstairs basement (attic) I will get a good job and take good care of her she will be my princess forever and ever, I wont’ kiss her until we are married.” Both Mr. Swanson and Natalie said yes and Dyllan was in heaven for days!
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